《第二十二条军规》是美国作家 Joseph Heller 的一部讽喻小说。首次出版于1961年。本文是部分书摘。
Force is wrong, and two wrongs never make a right.
借助暴力是错误的，而两个错误并不会负负得正叠加出一个正确。
To die or not to die, that was the question.... History did not demand Yossarian's premature demise, justice could be satisfied without it, progress did not hinge upon it, victory did not depend on it. That men would die was a matter of necessity; which men would die, though, was a matter of circumstance, and Yossarian was willing to be the victim of anything but circumstance.
去死还是不去死，这就是问题 ... 历史并没有要求 Yossarian 早夭，Yossarian 的生死无关公正性、不影响战争进展、也不决定胜败。人会死是自然规律；但具体到哪个人会死则由一些其它情形而定，而 Yossarian 最不想成为的就是为形势所迫的受害者。
Yossarian understood that they were different people together in daylight than they were alone in the dark.
Yossarian 明白，他们白天在一起时和晚上独自一人时是不同的。
The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
国家处于危险中；他正危及到他传统的自由和独立的权利，而危及它们的正是因为他居然胆敢实践这些权利。
Every victim was a culprit, every culprit a victim, and somebody had to stand up sometime to try to break the lousy of inherited habit that was imperiling them all.
每个受害人都是罪犯，每个罪犯都是受害人，有时必须有人站出来努力打破这一讨厌的积习，它使所有人都处于危险中。
Catch-22 says they have a right to do anything we can't stop them from doing.
第二十二条军规说，他们有权做任何我们无法阻止他们去做的事情。
What did matter was that everyone thought it existed, and that was much worse, for there was no object or text to ridicule or refute, to accuse, criticize, attack, amend, hate, revile, spit at, rip to shreds, trample upon or burn up.
重要的是每个人都认为它存在，这更糟，因为这使得我们失去了可以嘲弄、驳斥、指责、批评、攻击、修订、痛恨、辱骂、唾弃、撕碎、践踏或烧掉的目标或文字。
The men were perfectly content to fly as many missions as we asked as long as they thought they had no alternative. Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
只要这些人以为他们别无选择，那我们要求他们执行多少次飞行任务都没关系，他们一样很开心。现在你给了他们希望，他们不开心了。所以都是你的错。
（一段对话）
"He didn't influence me. You know what I might do? I might stay right here in this hospital bed and vegetate. I could vegetate very comfortably right here and let other people make the decisions."
“他没有影响我。你知道我会怎么做吗？我就待在这个医院里，像棵植物。我可以在这儿很舒服地做一棵植物，让别人做决定。”
"You must make decisions," Major Danby disagreed. "A person can't live like a vegetable."
“你必须要做决定，” 少校 Danby 不同意。“一个人不能活得像棵植物。”
"Why not?"
“为什么不能？”
A distant warm look entered Major Danby's eyes. "It must be nice to live like a vegetable," he conceded wistfully.
一缕遥远的暖意进入了少校 Danby 的目光。“能像一棵植物一样生活一定很惬意，” 他神往地表示同意。
"It's lousy," answered Yossarian.
“那糟透了，” Yossarian 回答。
"No, it must be very pleasant to be free from all this doubt and pressure," insisted Major Danby. "I think I'd like to live like a vegetable and make no important decisions. "
“才不，能远离所有这些疑问和压力一定妙极了，” 少校 Danby 坚持道。“我想我宁愿像棵植物一样活着，不用做重要决定。”
"What kind of a vegetable, Danby?"
“哪一种植物呢，Danby？”
"A cucumber or a carrot."
“一根黄瓜或胡萝卜。”
"What kind of cucumber? A good one or a bad one?"
“什么样的黄瓜？好的还是坏的？”
"Oh, a good one, of course."
“哦，好的，当然了。”
"They'd cut you off in your prime and slice you up for a salad."
“他们会在你最好的时候把你砍下来，切片做沙拉。”
Major Danby's face fell. "A poor one, then."
少校 Danby 的脸色黯淡了。“那就做坏的。”
"They'd let you rot and use you for fertilizer to help the good ones grow."
“他们会让你烂掉，然后给其它好黄瓜做肥料。”
"I think I don't want to live like a vegetable, then," said Major Danby with a smile of resignation.
“那我想我不愿意像植物一样活着了，” 少校 Danby 带着投降的微笑说。
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